Talking to him is re-igniting an aching destructive fire inside my chest. Knowing who he is now is ripping me from the present and into the disillusioned past. But it feels too good to stop. On the other hand, the consequences could be as fatal as before. I can't let myself fall back into love. It took me too long to let go. Fuck, I am still letting go. Every fucking day the distance of time forces me to let go another piece of him. But once you love somebody they have a piece of you forever. Forever...no matter how you change or who you love later, a piece of you has been forever surrendered, given. Do I need that piece? Can I accept my losses and move on? He just makes me feel this fire, this aching pain and magnetism towards him. How do you fight such a strong magnet without eventually snapping towards it?