I really, really hope I never go crazy. Insanity is such a terrifying thing. Can you imagine? Have you ever felt the tip of it's fingers trying to get a grip on you? I once thought I was crazy, but it was just a breakdown. I guess being 17 was harder than I thought it would be. But I'm talking in and out of awareness, gripping onto tangable memories, not remembering how to think, insanity. That's different.

Once my highschool psych teacher told our class a story about a guy who dropped acid at his bachelor party. Well, this trip was all his body needed to push him over the edge of schizophrenia, which was genetically there, but not yet triggered. He never ended up getting married. I don't think she was lying to us.

I never want to lose my grasp on reality. Sometimes when I look at my room I don't recognize it. Not often, but sometimes, I feel like I'm floating in my life, and it's only vaguely familiar. Sometimes I feel real disconnected, and it scares me. But then I go to sleep, or relocate until it passes, and I'm ok again. I really fucking hope that's not a precursor to crazy.

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