I am so wired (mark that, wired not weird). I am pondering the idea of getting my doctorate, and that possibility is electrifying. I could be a doctor. But, I would have to commit for five years. And I don't like feeling trapped. Or held down, or like my wings have been clipped.

But I'd be a real life fucking professional. But its so so so so scary. I am so scared to take that leap, that chance. I know what profession I want, but for some reason I am terrified. I would be in a program for 5 years. What if I'm lonely? It's not like the two year program where I could get an MSW. This is the real deal. I couldn't sooth my worries with the fact that it's only two years. Cause five years is a almost a fourth of my current life. And I'll be 27 when I just finish. I wanted to get married at 27. What if my choice hinges on me meeting people, and I don't get married? I want kids so badly. I'd like them at 31, and 33. I guess I could be more flexible. How am I ever going to know what's the right path?

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